My Grandmother just passed away. It was no surprise, she had been ill for a while. I had visited her often and always wondered if this would be the last time we spoke in this life. I thought I had told her everything I needed to. I had made sure she knew that I loved her and I knew that she loved me.

As I think back about her life and our relationship. I keep thinking of the moments where she was there and I wonder if she knew how much I appreciated her. Did I remember to say “Thank You” I keep asking myself. Did she know how much it meant to me that she was at my wedding. She didn’t like to travel much, but she was there. I don’t think until this moment I realized how much it meant to me or realized how exhausting that must have been for her. I wonder if she had any idea how many times the twenty dollar bill she pressed into my hand as I was leaving would help us get through another day or how a card or phone call from her brightened my day. I think of the times I rushed off and how that time would have been better spent with her.

These regrets will serve to change me, to help me be better at spending time with those I love and to make sure I express gratitude along the way. My Grandmother didn’t judge, she just loved and I hope to be like her. I smile as I think of her being reunited with Grandpa. Their love for each other was eternal.