I have a confession. My biggest fear is that I will fail as a parent. That I will lose my children, not to death, but to bad friends, drugs, drinking, or some unknown evil that could come between us. Because of this fear I read a lot of books about family, parenting, relationships, etc.

I recently picked up The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey from the library. Last night before going to bed I read a great piece of advice that I keep thinking about: “Always talk about others as if they were present”. I’ve heard this before, never giving it much thought since I don’t naturally talk poorly about people, but this time it hit me hard. Lately I have had trouble with an individual and since reading this I keep thinking about a few things I’ve said recently that I would of hated them to overhear. I may not agree with this person, but I definitely would never want to hurt them. I’m going to work on “being loyal to those not present” at all times.

I had also never thought of how speaking negatively about another individual could effect my relationship with my children. My children observe and remember so much about what I say and do. I would feel horrible if they felt like they couldn’t trust me because when they weren’t in the room I may say negative or hurtful things about them as well.

This is just a little side note, but I don’t think it is all the tricks or techniques they teach in parenting books that make you a better parent, but the things you learn about yourself. The things you internalize – changing who you are on the inside.