“You will always be a victim until you forgive”, declares Stephen R. Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. What a statement. It’s true no matter what somebody did to hurt you as long as you are angry you hurt yourself and your relationships with those around you. This often has no affect on the one who hurt you. I can think of a specific time when I was so angry with someone who had abused my trust and I projected this on everyone around me. No one could be trusted. Which is very hard on relationships. I also became very short tempered with everyone around me. People who had never done anything to hurt me but were “in my way” got the brunt of my frustration and anger. I stayed up at night thinking about how I hated this person and how they had wronged me. They had no idea and probably didn’t care. I was doing nothing to them, but I was slowly destroying myself and those around me – the people I loved.

What a difference I felt when I let it go. It wasn’t easy to reach that point. I tried to see if from their perspective – what the circumstances may have been that lead them to hurt me. I also prayed for the Lord to help me understand and to soften my heart. With time I felt a change within. I was no longer angry. I actually felt sorry for them, for the pain and loneliness that they must feel. The Lord opened my eyes and softened my heart. Though the offense will never be forgotten, I can move forward and be kind to this person, maybe even love them.

One last thought from Stephen R. Covey to ponder:
“It isn’t the snake bite that does the serious damage; it’s chasing the snake that drives the poison to the heart”