I’ve always believed that part of having a family was doing a lot of sacrificing. I thought I always needed to deny my needs, to put everyone else first. It’s no wonder this phrase jumped out at me “One of the greatest gifts you can give your partner is your own happiness” (101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married by Linda & Charlie Bloom). This isn’t a new idea to me. I’ve heard you need to take care of yourself or you’ll have nothing to give, but this wording or the timing was just what I needed to hear. I’ve definitely let a lot of what I wanted in life be set aside. I’m especially regretting not taking care of my health as I’m preparing for a surgery that would have been simpler if I hadn’t waited so long. I thought I was doing what was best for my family by not using the little money we had to see the doctor or charging it on a credit card. I thought I could just deal with the daily discomfort. I beat myself up on the days that I let not feeling well keep me from accomplishing what needed to be done around the house or taking care of my kids in the way I felt they needed. I can now see we could of found a way for me to see the doctor. I would not have been in pain for so long and definitely been less irritable with others. I’m sure my children and husband would rather have a happy wife and mother.

I also didn’t tell my husband what I needed as often as I should of. I silently resented that he didn’t help around the house or with the kids as much as I needed. I played the martyr always taking care of everything. It seems I wasted a lot of time and energy over the years. Having a family does take sacrifice, but there is an extreme and I’ve been living it. There is a need for balance between serving those you love and loving yourself. I believe the Lord can help you find that balance. Some days you may have something planned, but have to cancel because you have a child who needs you. On another day you may find someone else can help your child and what you had planned is really what you needed.

One last line to ponder from the book “Taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish; it’s the most generous and responsible thing we can do”